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• The Power of Self-Inquiry
Introduction to the "Who am I?" technique and its
significance.
The question "Who am I?" was the only meditation technique
recommended by the Indian sage Ramana Maharshi. He believed it
was uniquely effective because it severs the ego's roots at its
deepest source. Poonjaji once told me that if one is truly
ready, this question only needs to be asked once in a lifetime.
• The Timelessness of Self-Inquiry
Comparison of self-inquiry with other meditation
practices and its enduring potency.
In essence, self-inquiry hovers on the edge of what could be
called a technique. "Who am I?" is one of the most challenging
yet enduring practices. Unlike other meditation methods, which
may lose their potency over time, self-inquiry retains its
transformative power, even after decades of practice. Other
techniques can become routine, much like any repetitive habit in
our lives. For example, mantra meditation may have a profound
impact at first, but over the years, it can lull the mind into a
state similar to counting sheep—inducing drowsiness rather than
awakening.
Self-inquiry, on the other hand, remains perpetually fresh
because it offers no definitive answer. The seeker cannot find
itself. We are constantly in search, yet the truth is we have no
idea who this 'I' is that seeks, and even less of an idea of who
or what observes this 'I'.
At least, this has been my experience.
● THE INQUIRY
- A Step-by-Step Guide
Initial Instructions on how to engage in self-inquiry
meditation.
Find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed.
Close your eyes.
With utmost sincerity, ask yourself: Who am I?
Initially, you might get answers like:
I am this or that.
I have this job.
I am a man or woman of a certain age.
I have these views about this and that.
Then ask: Who is thinking this?
When it feels natural, ask again: Who am I?
A typical reaction is confusion, as your mind starts to think
about thinking. This can lead to a spiral where logical
reasoning collapses. Often, you might end up more confused than
when you started the "Who am I?" meditation.
However, it's essential to understand that "Who am I?" is
not an intellectual exercise but an existential question that
pulls the rug out from under the one asking it.
● Feeling Instead of Thinking
Emphasis on the importance of sensing rather than
intellectualizing during the practice.
The initial trick in self-inquiry is to feel rather than think.
Listen to your body—feel and sense your way out of your head.
Each time you ask "Who am I?", feel the energy in your body
instead of following the endless spiral of thoughts that try to
explain who you are. Every time you ask this feedback question
sincerely, the sensory 'energy' flows in your body will change
radically... and you too... It is not possible to ask the
question of Who am I without that very same 'I'
going into a spiral of energetic experiences.
Direct your simple aha-attention towards these sensations. It
can be quite entertaining by the way.
Self-inquiry is, in essence, a sensory micro-level experience of
ego-death. During this process, it's natural for the ego to
resist, which may even evoke fear. My advice? Enjoy it as a
sensory experience for as long as it lasts.
Indeed, the experience of this spiralling micro-death opens the
door to new, fresh micro-life. It's a rebirth into a state where
even the simple act of enjoying a morning coffee becomes a
profound experience—one that I relish as I write these words, a
feeling I wish everyone could share.
● Observe the observer
The concept of observing the observer and the
significance of this practice.
In this observation of interoceptive 'energies', a form of
bodily 'isness' arises. When looking or rather much more feeling
through that 'isness', ocasionally the observer in a glimpse
will be able to oberserve itself.
This sacred moment of death is the holy grail of Who am I-
meditation.
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Self-inquiry Anytime, Anywhere
Encouragement to practice self-inquiry in daily
activities.
After some initial experiences in formal meditation settings,
you can begin to self inquire anytime, anywhere:
When interacting with others.
When shopping.
While working.
On the toilet.
Before falling asleep.
● Extended Self-inquiry
Exploration of variations on the "Who am I?" question.
I occasionally enjoy experimenting with variations of
self-inquiry, such as:
What am 'I'?
Where am 'I'?
The question What am 'I'? can serve as a powerful prelude
to the profound inquiry of Who am 'I'? This question
helps unveil the realization that 'I' is not an identity rigidly
defined by society, but rather an ever-changing energetic
presence within the interoceptive realm of the inner body.
Through this inquiry, you might begin to perceive yourself as a
manifestation of 'bodily is-ness'—a dynamic state of being
rooted in the body.
The question Where am 'I'? delves into the spatial aspect
of this inner energy 'I'. At one moment, you might perceive
yourself as an energy being residing within your body; in the
next instant, you might experience your body as a tiny droplet
suspended within your larger self. This process of discovery is explored in greater detail
in the chapter, Fields of
Consciousness where it is
described as an inversion of the soul.
● 'I AM' NOT A FEELING
In truth, the "I am" is not a feeling, an energetic
sensation, or an "isness" or "suchness." Yet, these observable
phenomena are closer to the mystery we call truth, serving as
flowers along the spiraling roadside, guiding us to higher and
deeper levels of not-understanding. Each time you encounter one
of these flowers, rest, rejuvenate, and dwell in awe before
ascending further on the vertical journey of spirit—a journey
where you need not take a single step.
Are you confused now? If so, it’s the perfect moment to recall
Meister Meister Eckhart's
words: "Had I a God whom I could understand, I would no
longer hold him for God."
● The Journey back through the Genes
Self-inquiry as a journey through the evolutionary layers
of the self.
When you try to find yourself in the mirror that is yourself,
you initiate a journey back in time through your
own biological world
mass. In this conscious regression back through the
evolutionary onion layers of your genes, the first thing to loose
is cognitive understanding and the sense of individuality. As
you go through your genetic library, the books become older and
older. In fact, only the newest book in these 'Akashic
records' have been written with language and letters.
When words fall short we enter a layer of information
configurated as feelings, and after
that, a layer of abstract 'energetic' sensations, leading to the
previous mentined experience of bodily isness. From here, the
journey becomes more and more incomprehensible for our
intellect. How is it to be a primordial cell in the Precambrian
ocean? How is it to be stardust?
Now comes the million-dollar question: What is it then that
travels back in us?
To answer that question is like asking what Atlas, who holds the
world, is standing on. It is like explaining what we do not
understand in this world by introducing infinite parallel
universes.
Nevertheless, my answer is simple: What 'travels' backward in
time through me is consciousness.
Then what is consciousness??
I don't know... but I now know
that I do not know.
● THE METHAPHORIC QUANTUM FIELD OF SELF-INQUIRY
Discussion on how metaphors from quantum physics enrich
the understanding of self-inquiry.
The process of self-inquiry can be enriched by metaphors that
stretch the application of quantum physics beyond its scientific
boundaries. This is, in fact, what poets have done since the
invention of the steam engine and long before that. Our language
is filled with words born when we first hurled a spear, words we
later launched into projectiles and projects. The very act of
inventing tools, indeed the very birth of science, did more than
just bring essential calories to our table—it also enriched our
minds. Each innovation not only shaped the physical world but
also expanded the horizons of our thinking, deepening our
understanding and fueling the evolution of our verbal
consciousness.
● The Disturbance of Measurement
The interplay between consciousness and measurement,
drawing parallels to quantum physics.
Quantum physics teaches us that it’s impossible to
measure something without affecting the outcome. Although
quantum physics does not involve consciousness—focusing instead
on the 'disturbance' caused by the measurement apparatus
itself—I find it compelling to borrow metaphors from this field
for two key reasons.
● The Disturbance of Disturbances: Consciousness
First, at the foundation of every measurement lies human
consciousness; even a scientist can’t escape their own human
perspective. No one can leap over their own shadow—burping,
farting, and worrying about the mortgage, not even a quantum
scientist. What we carry within us as consciousness is an even
greater hurdle, impossible to transcend.
Second, the instruments we use for measurement are human
creations, born within the realm of consciousness. It is
impossible to remove the observer—understood as
consciousness—from any instrument by trying to 'instrumentalize'
it. As a human being, you are both the instrument and the
observer, examining a tool in the form of an instrument that
you, yourself, have created. In this sense, you are just another
tortoise standing on a tortoise, and so on, all the way down.
● How to Stand on a Turtle
The anecdote about Bertrand Russell and the implications
for scientific and spiritual inquiry.
This brings to mind an anecdote involving Bertrand Russell,
where he explained the Earth's place in the universe during a
lecture. An elderly woman reportedly approached him afterward,
dismissing his explanation as nonsense. She claimed that the
world is supported on the back of a giant tortoise. When Russell
asked what the tortoise is standing on, she confidently replied,
"It's turtles all the way down!"
Interestingly, many scientists, consciously or not, seem to side
with the old lady. They find their own subjectivity
uncomfortable and often try to ignore or sidestep it through
various means—much like priests have done for millennias. Yet,
it remains an inescapable truth, one that defies complete
understanding and leaves us sinking in the mud with no turtles
upon turtles to stand on.
For those committed to a strictly materialistic or empirical
worldview, this truth of self-referential instability of
subjectivity is unsettling. In my view, the resistance
from scientists when spiritualists 'borrow' metaphors from
quantum physics often stems from their discomfort with this
fundamental fact: everything we know is ultimately known through
a primordial ground of consciousness, which itself remains an
enigma. That said, I also understand the irritation scientists
express when New Age healers speak of quantum healing as if it
were a scientific endeavor rather than a poetic one. This, I
would argue, is an unethical appropriation, even stealing of
credibility that has not been earned by truth.
However, one truth remains: Human consciousness occupies a
central role in our understanding of reality—it is the
mysterious foundation upon which everything else stands. This
principle appears to extend even to macro-levels. For example,
when a scientist encounters an untouched tribe for the first
time, the very act of his presence alters the culture he
observes. Similarly, when you recall a memory, the act of
recollection itself changes that memory.
The observer is always part of the observed, and this interplay
shapes a reality that is, in fact, more magic than logic. This
magic of life, as Steve Jobs famously put it, is why "we
can't connect the dots looking forward."
● The Morphing Nature of 'Who am I'
Exploration of how conscious observation transforms the
self.
In fact, everything you consciously observe
begins to morph on a micro-level. You yourself are a living,
disturbing instrument of observation, constantly observed by an
unknown primordial observer. The extent of this transformation
is directly proportional to the quality and intensity of your
conscious awareness.
Now, imagine that same consciousness turning inward, exploring
itself in an ever-deepening,
ouroboros-like spiral.
● THE OUROBOROS 'I'
The paradoxical nature of self-inquiry and its
implications.
When the observer changes the observed, the
'I' that asks the question "Who am I?" will not be the same
after asking. The 'I' dissolves in the moment it is discovered
by itself. When 'I' inquire into 'I', it is like placing two
mirrors facing each other—they disappear into each other's
reflections. This feed-back loop is the very foundation of what
is described in the chapter,
The Ouroboros Consciousness.
●
The Wondrous Mystery of Meditation
Concluding thoughts on living as a mystery and the essence of
meditation.
Ramana Maharshi said that when the seeker seeks the seeker, it
is like a detective hunting a criminal who is himself.
The
statement Who am I? is as paradoxical as the statement
'I
lie.'
Imagine a barber who shaves everyone in town who does not shave
themselves. The paradox arises when you ask: Who shaves the
barber?
The question "Who am I?" is reminiscent of
Russell's paradox. It
cannot provide a logical answer.
Thus, the question "Who am I?", when asked with deep emotional
sincerity, will never deliver an answer, but only an ever
deepening mystery that
cannot be explained, only lived.
Living oneself as a profound, wondrous mystery
in a state of flow is meditation.
At the heart of the matter, Papaji was right:
There is nothing to understand.
This statement is the ony thing that needs to be understood.
I try every day - anytime, anywhere.
Papaji Ki Jay!.
Best regards,
Gunnar Mühlmann
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