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Aisha |
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Aisha
The feminine
element of cosmic fire
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Visit
AISHA'S
own Website:
www.theself.eu
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Cosmic Journal |
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The last lesson of Love |
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12.5.06
Learning true love
Only by paying attention to the feelings the heart send into the
body in full honesty to one self, can the heart become one with
God. The hearts true nature will make man learn to care for and
have compassion for everybody. When this is done, the heart is
open for Gods love to enter.
Until the love of God has entered, the feelings felt by the
heart, can only vary in depth from human to human based on how
close this body�s relationship is with other humans. The depth
of this love, for it being human, can only be based on how close
this human body is with other people. The care can however reach
from family to stranger.
Loving every man the same can only come, when the heart has
learned to carry the love of God - learned True Love.
My own body letting go of the ego
A quick recap of what has happened this last year in this body,
can be described as the story of my body, called Dahlia, that
started out owning itself, but being blessed with a sense of
feeling that came very close to its true nature � me. The
process in its totality has been of my body learning through
heart that the person called Dahlia does not exist. Learning
that there is no free will accompanied by anything else, but
moving with the desires of the heart and body. Accepting that
the body has a will of its own, independent of the will the mind
carries with the ego and perception of �I�. Did you get that?
:o)
In the past, the heart in my body loved a few, and acted
thereby. Slowly (or maybe not so slowly :-) ) selfishness was
let go, as well as everything else, the only thing my heart
didn�t stop caring for was humans. My heart was opened up,
learning to care for every body � thief as well as holy man.
Read the piece called �strangers becoming family�, which
describe this experience of hierarchy between people
disappearing � my heart learning to care for everybody.
I thought at that time, that my heart was learning to love
everybody, but this step, I see now, has not happened until now.
What happened back then, when I wrote the piece mentioned above,
was, that my heart was learning compassion. I see this now,
because I see the big difference between learning to care and
learning to love. Love contains no selfishness.
When the body lets go of the selfishness, the heart becomes open
for learning to love. The last step is letting go of the
personal love, which has always, and can never be a result of
anything other than personal relationships. If there is no ego
there can be no person � this go hand in hand. If there is no
person there can be no personal love. My body has now taken love
to the next and highest level.
Letting go of personal love
What happened last in the transformation of this body was, that
my heart was through the process of letting go of personal love.
If anybody should care it happened during a period of 3-4 days
mid May 2006.
This happened by insight coming to my attention, of course
followed by feeling as feeling always comes before thought, and
becoming able to see the human being. Seeing the human being in
its totality made my heart realize, that the people my heart had
trusted completely, was not to be trusted this way, for seeing
the ego for what it is, is seeing the human being consisting in
both love and selfishness.
The feeling of loosing every one my heart has ever loved was
demolishing. This put a distance that at first felt very bad
between these human beings and my heart. Not one single cell in
my body was however in doubt that the pain and in particular the
distance, was utter illusion. What happened was that specific
love towards specific human beings was disappearing. This not to
protect my heart from being hurt, only to be replaced by the
love of God.
The feeling of the pain is so very hard to describe, but it came
to my body as the feeling, that my heart only seeks and needs
me. That my heart needs no human, and that every human it offers
its love in the hunt for satisfaction, will only be able to keep
the heart satisfied briefly. As what it seeks is me. Through the
pain, I saw very clearly and felt the comfort in the knowledge
that this is true, that I can and must stand alone to be
satisfied. Every human being carrying an ego carries the duality
making the entity ego able to turn against any other human �
because this heart still carries selfishness. No matter how much
love this person carries in its heart it IS still
and can only give human love, and this love is in more than one
way limited. The limit of course consists in the fact that what
makes the heart offer its love, in a body carrying selfishness,
is the selfish need to be satisfied. Humans love to get love
returned. God does not.
Seeing the human being for what it is
The one thing every body fears is loosing the ones they love. It
became painfully clear to my heart, by feeling followed by
insight, that any man carrying an ego entity has the duality of
opposites in them. This means, that any human with an ego
carries selfishness, as well as love. A heart that hasn�t
learned the lessons of love is most likely to turn this
selfishness out towards people they don�t know, keeping the
selected ones they love, through relationships, close to the
heart.
A person can be accepting of bad sides of another person, but
can never come to love these sides. And as these sides are a
part of any human being carrying an ego, no man can truly love
another. This makes some people easier to love for human beings,
than others.
A person can accept selfishness in its partner�s treatment of
others, but the heart will always be hurt, does this selfishness
turn towards the person itself. The egotistical side of a human
being is the part that can turn and hurt the person that same
heart claims to love.
Any humans love can only be as strong as the humans� body�s
knowledge of God. The strength of this love makes some people
more trustworthy than others, but no matter what, if the human
being carries this entity, the love can never be perfect, as the
heart is only able to love humans as a human, with the amount of
selfishness the body carries.
Only feeling existence above this life makes heart able to love
something more than life itself. And this, dear human, is how I
love you now. Gods love is not accomplishable for any person -
only for the human being.
How
is the love of God experienced by me as a conscious nothingness?
The result of the old way to love getting pushed out of my heart
is my heart learning to carry the love of God. This love is
totally different from the love from a human being. Now as I
look at the humans that before were close to me, by
relationship, I see a human being, I don�t see Judy, Morten or
Gunnar, as in feeling my personal relationship with them. The
difference is however, that my heart loves these humans so
deeply, as each and every one of them stands there in their on
perfectly imperfectness. The love coming from this heart is no
longer personal and dependent on my body�s knowledge or
closeness to these people. The love of my heart can only exist
from a view seen from above man. It is a heart now being able to
love what by man is considered bad, as well as what is
considered good.
Before a difference was felt in the depth of my hearts feelings,
as to whether it was a human I was close to by relationship or
not. The people I was closest to in heart and enjoyed being with
the most, was the people that let my body be me, as much as it
was able to. These people made my body feel good, because it
didn�t make my body fight to be with me and to stay and exist in
its true nature.
It was easier to be with some people than others, because being
with bodies that knows very little of truth, made my body open
heart to heal the other body, which wore my body out. And very
early in the process made my body forget me, until my body was
no longer under the influence of this opposite to me.
Now the depth of feelings is even deeper, and the feeling
majestic. My heart has for finding me, been rewarded ten gold
pieces� ha ha ha, no, but has been rewarded the knowledge and
constant feeling of energy, as in being a part of God. This
makes no body able to pull my consciousness or bodily feeling in
any other direction than me. This view from above doesn�t move
an inch depending on the person I am with. As no body makes my
body feel different, I can be with any body and still feel me.
The only thing that happens now is, that my body can be tired
after a whole day of being with other human beings, because my
body�s being with humans, carry the full time job of
distributing me through healing them, just by being near them
:o) .
Of course the pleasure of a humans company can vary a great
deal, depending on the person, but by feeling, the feelings of
love are not deeper for bodies being closer to me in
relationships.
Seeing through people and receiving their love
The personal love is of course received, by my heart, from other
people on a personal level, as the ones loving me are humans.
But the love returned to the people I know, as well as the
people I haven�t met yet, is now not varying and depending on
the relationship between me and this other human.
This means that in my heart, I feel no difference between the
stranger on the street and the child in my care. Both I love
with all of heart and more than life itself.
As I see-feel any and every human, of course I see completely
the relationship between love and selfishness in bodies, but the
humans standing place is not the foundation of how deep the love
is felt by my heart.
All of them are seen from above and seen through in a way, that
very distinctively tells selfishness from love, but in a way
that doesn�t make my heart judge neither side and thereby not
judge humans that stand farther away from me or favour people
being closer to me (not by relationship, but by heart). There is
no difference between any human being carrying an ego i.e.
carrying selfishness. It is all just a process going on, on this
level of time and space. In truth there is no process. In truth
they all are a part of God, but just don�t know it.
Being with true love
My body has through this last period of time become utterly
dehumanised and no longer feel human. As my body now feels me as
my Self, it feels up most satisfaction in itself. When walking
around town, my body now feels and sees the other beings as
humans, but at the same time feel me and has the view from my
point of being. My consciousness see-feel everything here from
above.
Through the last six months, during my body still feeling human,
my body used itself to express and receive the personal love in
the heart, as well as distributing me. Now my body no longer
feelingwise gain anything by expressing love physically to
another human being. I consider the physical love a part of
being with humans and can only consider it part of healing,
because I, by hugging another human, let this human being into
the sphere of my own being in this body.
There is no doubt I until further notice or massiveness in this
body travel lighter by touching. The motherly care my body has
expressed, was a sign of personal love, as for me being in a
female body.
Honesty between hearts
I have to have 100% honesty in all I do, because human beings
are very easy to manipulate. I see right through the heart of a
human being, and am able to go right through it as well as see
the state of it. I doubt not that lightning will strike this
body so hard for stepping wrong. In this sense my body has
learned highest self control. This makes my body and being, the
most reliable source of love, because it is not able to do
wrong, not able to deceive or lie.
This makes up a whole new set of rules for my body, as I can
allow no heart-games in my interaction with humans. I can not
let my body play with other bodies in a way affecting the
bodies� hearts, because it now has ability of passing me on, as
for no body�s heart to be able to turn the other way. Letting
the body use this to play with people, would be an incredible
misuse of power. And it would be a totally unfair match, as my
body now knows the strengths as well as weaknesses of man.
Hour of Truth
Every heart seeks God, and as every body has one and can�t stand
without it, every body is bound to walk the path of love. That
is the genius plan of this life. Love is the master plan and
only love can free you from this duality and unsatisfied feeling
of selfishness.
Man can practice getting attention into body by yoga, martial
arts, meditation etc. but the only thing, that can really take
you home, is love. All it really need is to be able to feel its
heart and build the courage to stand by it.
For if body feels all of itself only a physical level, but heart
is still not open, God can not pour freely into the body. As
long as the body still carries selfishness, heart can not be as
open as for God to enter it. And thereby it is not possible to
become one with God. God can enter the body in the sense of
energy, but if heart hasn�t opened completely, it will never be
able to become The One.
The truth of your nature is attained purely by paying attention
to the feelings, in greatest courage of self honesty and letting
go of selfishness. Be true to yourself, and learn the values of
the heart in your chest. Let your heart walk in front, and watch
out for the traps you put out for yourself.
Some majestic feeling it is to sit and look over the ocean and
having the thoughts rising: �unbelievable, all of this is mine��
ha ha ha�
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SMS from Aisha:
So clear it is in
this now
to this body...
My body feel me..
it has right this minute
received from me the
knowledge of feeling,
that makes it possible
for it to see, feel and
know... That I am not it!
And then... who am I?
I am you... I am/you are
the very essence of every
living being... such a simple
feeling... Yet so hard for this
as every body to attain... I see
through the mirror of this body.
Right this now...
06-03-8 - 18:22 |
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20th
of March 06 |
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Here I am - New changes, new abilities, new experiences
Who am �I�?
God moved in. My body is now constantly able to feel God, and
doesn�t forget at any time, who is the boss. I now live with my
body in a totally different way. It is like a whole new
partnership.
This doesn�t mean God has filled up my body yet, but it does
mean, that the part of this body that still has human feats,
never and not even during feeling bad, mistakes its own being
and the �I� for the �I� that is now represented in being God.
Me, as in being a consciousness, am just a servant. Before I
served the body in its belief that �I� am it. Now... This has
changed. I now serve God in this body, feeling this is the �I� I
really belong to and was meant to serve.
The fact that I have learned which �I�, I really serve, in
fact makes no confusion in my head � as for the body to believe,
that it is God. My body is fully aware, that what it carries is
a little raindrop of God spilled on its heart. I now experience
the abilities my body has got, as a result of God moving in.
Feeling others
The greatest one of them is the one that follows being able to
feel God in my body. The result of my consciousness having
expanded, is me now being able to expand into other bodies. This
ability makes me able to feel and connect to the energy in any
other body. And this is amazing. It makes the feeling of being
with another living creature a whole new experience, and makes a
totally new connection between me and other bodies � by feeling.
Being able to feel �Me�/God in other bodies, also make me able
to tune in on other bodies feelings � good as well as bad. This
makes me able to share love as well as compassion with another
human being in a way only imaginable to a mind not experiencing
this.
Healing
The way my body only acted before during healing (pulling
feelings of others into my own body, for the purpose of my body
letting them go afterwards), so this happens now all the time,
when I wish it to and tune in to other bodies. Healing is no
longer something that goes on when I prepare my body for it, as
the body is now always in the state of being this open to
receive this information from other bodies. So healing now is
being with other people and no longer takes any effort or change
in state of body from me.
I can feel only the feeling by tuning in, but not by choice hear
the thoughts, that this feeling has set off. But it happens more
and more, that the thoughts following that feeling is served to
me regularly. I can not read thought� yet� ha ha ha� but
sometimes I receive a thought, that is the cause of me feeling
another humans feelings. I am never confused that these feelings
are not mine, as they feel like an extra layer upon my own
being.
Eyesight changing
Another thing is, that my eyesight is changing - expanding. It
is achieving another state of normality. I experience again and
again that my eyes don�t focus on anything or anyone. But sees
everything within the reach of the eye. This means that turning
my head into the direction of another human being doesn�t make
my eyes focus on that person, but only makes that person the
center of my vision. Takes some getting used to. But I can
without any trouble drive a car and so on, just without the need
to orientate me other than look straight ahead and keep my eyes
open. The body then drives the car when its green, and stops if
cars slow down in front of me. Without me spending any awareness
on it. It sees all.
The ability, I have had for some time, to see a roadmap of
energies in bodies, that normally required my eyes closed, now
and again happens with my eyes open. Nothing more to say to
that.
Sexuality disappearing
Also, although it has been quite a while now, my sexuality
disappeared. This was a process passing over a couple of months.
Sex now has no colour to me. It is not that I can�t participate,
but the need doesn�t rise in my own body and participating
doesn�t make my body urge for any kind of climax. The body�s
letting go of this human need, has made a physical change in my
reproductive organs.
I wont try to explain how or why all these abilities and
changes - I, as consciousness, just experience and observe. The
human body is very complicated, and I see that more and more
abilities, that in fact all bodies, including your own, carry,
are getting revealed to me as God fills up more and more of this
body.
Human needs � �who� needs them� part one
So it only just happened, that my body learned, that I am not
a �who�, but a �what�. My mind surely got to thinking once
again, that �well, now my body has learned what I am, maybe it
is over�� Ha ha ha�(I laugh because it has thought this a lot of
times). But it is not over, and will not be over, until God has
thrown every and any human need out of this body. This he can do
now because there is no �who� disturbing his work with this
body�
God doesn�t want to seem to slow down. My body again and these
days are moving through a passage where another need is
dissolving � and more importantly more energy is getting thrown
into my system � and more and more hot air thrown out.
I have to say, that it has become very clear to me, what is
the only thing worth having focus on in this process� And it is
the big picture. All of these abilities getting revealed to me
are not important� The only thing important to this body is that
it is being filled up. What ever abilities this drags with it
are only bi-products. These abilities are only important in the
sense of my using them to spread the energy of God from my body
to others � in healing� in loving.
Body changing ownership
God is life, as energy equals life to me. This knowledge of
truth can come only from feeling (feel energy � feel God). The
element making your heart and mine beat is God.
As I have written before, love exists only in the meeting
between mother earth and father God (Allah, or whatever � the
ONE). Father without mother would just be energy - life. Mother
without father would just be material things � dead things.
Life, as you know it, exists only in this meeting, as it is here
some things are added life. Nature-elements like grass, flowers
and trees, and what we call animals - one of these animals being
the human body.
My body is now going through the process of more and more of
God being brought into this world through my body - my body
being filled up, step by step, with this life. This can only
happen because my body has learned the lesson of love � to open
this heart to ONE and all.
The result of me going through this process, I feel and see
now; This body will come to be and express the greatest love
possible on this earth.
Ownership of this body has never been mine, as I am a
consciousness, but I see now the ownership is moving from mother
to father. And I see that every aspect of life mother earth ever
taught me (the needs we all follow to stay alive), is getting
outlined by Godfather. Ha ha ha.
Mind the heart � and not the brain�
As I speak of really deep human needs getting thrown out of the
temple, that is my body, I know I am not to let my brain tamper
AT ALL with the result of what�s going on. By this I mean, that
I don�t allow my brain, to use my attention trying to figure
out, what is going on. I can not let my brain get involved in
this, by listening to it, because it can make it very hard for
me, to follow only Gods order (the desire of my heart) on what
is going to happen with this body. Even though the intention of
the brain is ever so lovely, the mind always tries to set goals
of reaching and achieving. If it gets an idea, that this and
this will happen, it will try to make me reach a destination. If
it is wrong, as it has been on more than one occasion, ha ha ha�
It can really drag the body into trouble especially at the
point, where my body is, at where I speak of basic needs getting
outlined.
This of course doesn�t mean my brain doesn�t occasionally try
to figure out whats going on, ha ha ha, but the brain has a way
of shutting up, once you stop listening to it� Ha ha ha� trick
for meditation ;o) .
If I did let the brain think, it would start making dramas.
The problem here is that the mind thinks too small. The changes
in my body that, for the brain, can be thought off as a big
deal, is in reality utterly unimportant. Only the result is
important. The big picture.
And seeing the big picture, the only thing worth looking at is
Energy, God, Allah, or whatever we call it being and growing
inside this body, making more and more perfect meeting of
element of mother earth and Godfather.
For the mind to set out to reach the highest love possible, is
a good thing � it is to start seeking. But trust in yourself�
Never try hunting bodily knowledge outside your own body � as
your body, as mine, holds all the answers.
Stop listening to your mind or any body else's, and start
following your heart.
Mind your heart and the desires of it� And love will take you
home.
Human needs � �who� needs them� part two
I became aware of my body letting go of human needs already a
few months ago. As it happened the need to protect my offspring
was let go by my body, as my heart opened to everyone. As my
body learned that I am not a who but a what, there is no �who�
holding on to these needs anymore.
Since then my body has let go of the sexual need and these
days I experience my need to feed dissolving.
I see that the action of letting go of human needs follow a
pattern. This pattern is parted in three states which the body
goes through. I will use the example of my need to feed
dissolving to make this pattern clear as day.
The first state the body is in is the ordinary animal-like way
of being, that the body is in from birth, where it is born
animal. In this state a need is the cause of a desire, and the
desire cause of an action, to satisfy this need. This is how
most humans reacts most of their life.
I experience the before mentioned state changes, as the body
is preparing to let go of the need. This is when the body's
desire to fulfill this need disappears. When the desire
disappears, but the need is still a part of the body, the body
is to do the work of letting go. My body changed from getting a
desire to eat, to not getting this desire anymore.
The part of letting go, the body carries out through a period
of time that can vary a great deal from journey to journey. For
me this period meant energy rising to be almost unbearable. Body
reacts as under pressure. Getting bad feelings. These feelings
although, are not attached to any thing or any thought. These
feelings are not to be tampered with in any way � the only way
is just to let the body be and learn.
For my body, during this period of letting go of need for food
and drink, this has felt like added pressure inside the nervous
system, burning sensations in the whole body, but in particular
in arms and legs, and the worst is a feeling of total mess
inside the chest and stomach area. So many feelings � all of
which feels bad. The first couple of days I felt very vividly
that the body was breaking a habit.
The body can react in various ways to this pressure, but when
pressure was at the highest, my body reacted with trances
returning, incl. the numbness. When pressure lightens as a
result of integration, trances disappear again and my body needs
to let go through crying or anger. It is very clear to me that
the body uses these known exits � actions of living out sadness
and anger � to let go of the high pressure in pushing out the
need from the system.
Through this, the body at no time forgets who I am, and
thereby I can just let it react. This of course takes some
understanding from the surroundings not to take this personally
( ha ha ha ). But holding back is not an option � as the body
goes down, if pressure is not taken off the system. Within a few
days my body learned to carry the energy and let go of the crap,
that there is no room for now energy has taken its place.
After the karma has been burned out, the desire can return.
The desire is now totally unattached. There is no more fear in
the body, not to get the desire fulfilled. As this fear is gone
the feeling is total freedom around the aspect, that before was
a need. I don�t have to do anything. But of course this doesn�t
mean, I don�t want to do anything. But now I am able to let the
animal be the animal without having any attachment to the body
as in living with these needs as a part of me.
When my lust for eating returned to the body in this totally
free and unattached way, I ate again. But I also experienced
that eating this meal meant 3 hours of stomach-pains. I still
have a part of me not agreeing with the fact, that I don�t just
go to a caf� anymore and order a sandwich, but actually I am at
a point now, where it is not a goal for me to stop eating, but
as well it is not a goal for me to eat.
By having these stomach aches, my body lost some of its desire
to eat again. Whether I will stop eating entirely is totally up
to the body and only time will tell. I will not accept any signs
of disease as a result of not eating. I will not accept my body
losing too much weight either. I have some fat on the body to
throw away, but I wish not for my body to get weak. And as long
as those two demands are fulfilled, I will follow only my body�s
wishes. And this day � It didn�t feel like taking in food.
Every time we feel bad � we are confronted with our own
shortcomings. Every single time.
Love � the only human need needed�
As my body these days are letting go of the need to feed. The
only needs I have left in this body is the need for sleep and
the need for love. You can hold me to this, but I believe
strongly, that there will be one last big round of battling with
the beast. And I think this will remove the need for sleep.
How is it then, that all the needs disappear, but one need
remains?
The need for love is the last and purest attachment to the
body. When this is let go of, there is no need holding me to
this body anymore. This makes love the last and only need worth
keeping. As I enjoy life much and enough to stay here for my
loved ones. The day I start feeling my body let go of this last
need, I will be able to say when this body will die. I know this
will happen as this is exit for me. But when� I don�t know. I
just know I get to have a stay in this. Although I haven�t had a
say in any of it since the body started going through this
process, I know I wont let go of the need to love with this
heart, until this body feels this need satisfied.
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8th
of March 06 |
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And so my body arrived at the state of which it is able to feel me.
The body has to learn and come to terms with the feeling that, the
�I� combined with any kind of identity is nothing. This it must,
before it can come to realize, that the �I�, that I really am� is
everything.
How does it feel?� Oh yes, Is this body able to describe the feeling
of me? Is a human body able to describe the feeling of being, if this
being is not to be compared with anything of this world? The answer is
no, of course not� And then again, it is possible� But by no means
through words, as the taste of sugar can hardly be explained to
someone without a tongue (love for you Arun Baba). The feeling of
being can only be described to other bodies in terms of being.
If words are to be put to this. It must be� That my body feels life.
Not just in its own substance� But in everything. I am here in this
body, but also all around it. I feel Me in my son� I feel Me in You�
Being with You is being with Me�
When healing other bodies, I call for the Me in the body connected to
mine.
The only true feeling� is love.
God is energy� life. Only God combined with the material elements of
mother earth can create love. The meeting between earth and sky.
Mother and father.
And this feeling of total truth, that can be found only in love, is
so true because it is the cleanest and clearest form of feeling
resembling All That Is.
Every and any other feeling than love, has a sense of missing truth
in it. Any other feeling than love, holds some kind of an illusion,
created by a body that knows no better.
I hope the Me in me get to be with the Me in you...
Please contact me for a healing� I wish to be with you�
The lovely practicality of Me joining up in all togetherness:
My phone-number is:
+45 26 27 80 76
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Big roar of compassion,
love and victory from a heart
of God in a chest of mother earth.
06-02-22 - 23:07
۞
No hole to move into...
and never was... only space of
nothingness... emptiness... feels like
I have moved into space... but still
looking out through these eyes,
when not closing them...
Deepest love to you...
06-02-22 - 19:15
۞
Closing my eyes now IS being with God.
06-02-22 - 16:08
۞
Don't know what I expected or
why this
amazes me ... for a long time I have felt
like something was replacing something
else inside my body. But now the feeling
when closing my eyes is... like stepping
into outer space. Not a feeling of being
filled with something... But the exact
opposite... filled with.. nothing...
only thing I am able to feel with eyes
closed is the boundaries between
space and this world: my skin...
These boundaries feels like
a moving energy field...
06-02-22 - 16:05
۞
Closing my eyes... utterly pulls me to
outer space... But eyes wide open...
I'm just me... Just a consciousness.
06-02-22 - 15:49
۞
Very strange to be alone. Amazed how
when alone I can feel God being
in this body... But yet again feel like
nothing ever happened... Like not one single thing has changed...
06-02-22 - 15:47
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7th
of March 06 |
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State of cosmic eruption - trance turns to ecstasy
This last period of time (1� month) my life has been very affected
by the trances, because of the nature of them. This nature being my
body was sent to the ground in total numbness, followed by me as
consciousness dropping into the hole, leading out of this world. Did
I not place my body somewhere, where I could let go of it, without
it having to stay alert, the body would not fully recover its
strength in between trances. Resulting in a crash and
burn-situation, where it could take the body up to 24 hours to
regain its total strength.
The trances quickly turned totally painless and peaceful, and the
time I spent out of the body, became shorter and shorter for the
body to obtain, what it had to. Of course this was and is healing.
As
it happened sometimes, when I was pulled out of a trance too early,
by my surroundings, I arrived in a body totally on fire. Unbearable.
I still experience nights, where I have to get up, because a sound
pulls me to the surface. These times I have to move the body around,
because I can not stand to have it lie still. The heat is too
intense. Moving into the hole means great healing, getting ripped
out� ouch! So I came to the point where I preferred being
all-one/alone during these trances.
Of
course this healing is what every body experience during sleep. But
as my body moves deeper into the hole, than during regular sleep, my
body receives even greater healing, than it ever had.
What happened now is, that trances evolved. I now no longer get
pulled into trances during the day, where my body collapses by
itself, pulling me down with it. Through a period of 4-5 days, my
body started to move into a new kind of trances. This new kind of
trance I experience, as a total cosmic eruption in the body. The
trance doesn�t any longer push me out of the body, but invites me to
stay and play in total presence.
During the first trances of this kind, I, as always, had no choice
but to close my eyes and give in to the enormous temptation of being
twirled into the meeting between earth and sky taking place in the
body � it actually feels like God enters the body filling every cell
with feelings of love, light and energy� As I found out, my body was
very usable during this kind of trance, and as I was not to leave
the body all together, I now can actually be in surroundings not
fulfilling the demands of being quiet. During the first of these
trances, I was able to sit and even walk. The first time it was a
joyride lasting 1� hour. It was interrupted, by my moving my body
from a pizza-place in Helsingoer to Gunnar's house. But it was no
problem. I could, but just didn�t feel like it� As the feeling of
surrender into this is so very tempting and overpowering. I slowly,
through trance after trance learned that the body is fully
functional even during this state of total inner surrender and
feeling.
An
hour and a half turned into three days
Two days ago this energy exploded once again. I felt God entering
me, as before, but this ride on Gods ecstasy-wave lasted more than 2
days. These trances have now been a part of my body for almost a
week.
On
the first day of this cosmic eruption, every move my body made, sent
totally blissful waves of love-energy through my entire being. As I
felt it coming during carrying out a task of the day, I saw no
reason to stop, but instead continued working with my body in total
bliss. And It actually made working a totally to sex-comparable
experience. I didn�t have to get caught up, but instead I
let myself, when ever I felt like it, and just for a few seconds
at the time. It was pure explosion of passion in my chest.
In
lack of feelings to compare this with, I can compare this to nothing
but a sexual climax� And describe it only as a total cosmic and
chest-imploding orgasm. Of course this had nothing to do with
stimulation of reproductive organs, but was centred in all of my
torso, reaching down from the stomach over solar plexus and into the
open chest, sending these vibrations out to surround my arms. The
energy I received from God.
This first day the eruption was so extreme, that every being I
touched sent of explosive love-vibrations and a tremendous feeling
of share-ability all the way through my body. Contact with other
beings� receiving a loving touch this day� was the very wind turning
my already stormy waters into giant waves of emotion.
The 2nd day I still felt the eruption constantly eyes
open, but less vividly. If I closed my eyes, I felt the arousing
energy roaring in all of my upper body. This made the healings I had
yesterday, a whole new experience. I can surely say, that the
feeling of giving touch was more intense, than I ever imagined
possible. During healing I closed my eyes, and I can almost say for
sure, that I enjoyed those healings more, than the bodies I healed.
:o)
3rd
day� Today� the feeling of carrying this energy is less explosive
and mindblowing. I am able to keep focus outside, without the inner
process taking up a part of my attention the entire time. But the
feeling of the energy is there.
What started out as trances pulling me of stage, now has become
something else. I can hardly use the word trance to cover it
anymore. On the contrary I feel and see my body integrating more and
more of this energy through these bursts of ecstasy, that when
erupts, feel like total fulfilment.
These creamy love-flavoured heart attacks, seem to come again and
again. And up till now, they have become longer and longer in
duration. I don�t feel that the energy, that on day one was causing
this extreme experience in me, has disappeared. On the contrary,
that the energy got integrated in my body. The result of these 3
days: The overwhelming experience is gone� But the energy stayed�
Making my body feel me differently.
Ha
ha ha, as I write this� I feel another steamy roar of God echoing
through my body, turning up energy ones again, for me to body-feel
in total surrender simultaneously with being in this now�
These bursts of sunshine makes my entire body feel again and again
as it has never been able to before.
What a journey� Ha ha ha�
Love from Dahlia |
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۞
Somebody wants to dance with me now.
Write when it is over.
06-02-14-14.27
So peaceful, so lovely, such bliss.
Quick in... Quick out... greeted HIM
with a smile and a coke. He took me in.
And just sent me back. So Amazing.
06-02-14-14.58
۞
I have come to enjoy the living creatures
of God enormously... Especially the ones
with no minds ... animals... they react spontaneously and natural
with the energy... love so pure.
Iiiih... My cat want to
sit on top of me all the time. It's impossible to get anything done around
here... But then again...
might as well surrender...
ha ha ha ha ha ha
۞ |
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25th of February 06 |
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What happened to my self(ish)?
This last period of
4-6 months I can now see in perspective. I now realize my body was
learning the lessons of love.
The taught hierarchy of love
As I was raised, my
body was taught to love people differently � to love some more than
others. The love that place people in hierarchies, I see now, is
built on missing bodily knowledge. My entire life I have lived
categorising people. In my body and mind was created a hierarchy of
love with my child and boyfriend on top, parents, closest friends,
friends and at the bottom strangers� I didn�t feel much for
strangers as a lot of people don�t. My love was based on personal
relationships. As to the people I was closest with was the ones I
loved the most. This by far, have changed and turned out to be the
opposite of truth of heart. This I see now was the lesson of my
life. The lessons in love.
Through these last 4-6 months my heart has learned to love with no
conditions, restrictions, demands or expectations.
Strangers becoming family
I observed this was
happening, when I observed my bodys behaviour and feeling around
strangers changed. The layers of dividing people into categories,
disappeared one by one and from the bottom. Strangers started to
feel like friends. Friends started to feel like close friends and so
on.
My experience was that slowly my heart started opening to more and
more people. None of the people I already had feelings for, lost any
part of me � no man was degraded in my heart � but every one not on
top, was upgraded. Somehow strangers started to feel just like
people I cared for. Through these last 4 months my relationship with
every human became one and the same.
Through this very
period I received from within insight/feeling about how every body
on this planet is exactly the same and equal. Realizing what I am,
meant seeing that other people are exactly the same as
I. a Consciousness with a body �
more or less developed to see and more importantly
feel the truth. This was
not attached to any thought, but was and is pure feeling. Standing
with a body I never saw before, I started to feel the receiver as a
consciousness living inside a terribly misunderstood body.
I observed this was happening when strangers became family, and
family all of a sudden didn�t feel quite as personal, as they did
before. The day my body let go of the instinct of protecting my son
from everything bad in this world (as all is good), was the day
every body all of sudden felt like my sons and daughters. I cried
for 3-4 hours. Couldn�t stand thinking of anybody I know, as the
thought made me cry harder. I had to return to the now, to be able
to stop crying. No thinking at all.
In the time following this, my body had to learn the lesson for
good. And this it did through healing � and through me becoming
aware of its way of treating family differently than strangers.
Learning by healing � learning by doing�
I have become aware,
that the personal relationships I have had with my family was
actually, what kept me back from being mercifully loving with them.
With strangers my body had no fear at all in carrying out all the
loving grace that pours through my heart no matter the action. But
as soon as I was with family, my body automatically restrained
itself and captured itself in the ways of habit, feelings returning
of the personal relationships from the past. This I started to
become aware of when letting my body perform the first
love-therapy-healing.
One day I received an
sms from Gunnar, asking if I wished to come heal a friend of his. My
body reacted very efficiently. I returned the message: �Will he
surrender and do I have free hands to do whatever necessary?�. The
answer was yes.
The next day I showed up. Deep heartburn. I started healing this man
the conventional way, but within long, my body felt like pulling
this body to the ground, and letting my heart explode in the
receiving body. I followed my bodys desire to do so � and he
surrendered. My body and energy, God, Allah, (or whatever you wish
to call it), penetrated the heart of this man, with no mercy and no
regard to any of his personal restrictions. God poured love out of
my heart, and his heart reacted. Ended up beating like a drum.
Never before I
experienced such great cooperation between the energy and my body �
and all I did was stand aside and let the body carry out its desire.
I had felt no filters of personal restrictions or relations carrying
out this healing � as I had none. From then on, I started being
aware of the difference between my bodys desires when healing
strangers and family. Healing family automatically put a soft
freedom-reducing pillow over the desires and hence the actions
carried out during healing.
Since I observed and
got aware of this, my body has moved closer and closer to throwing
all personal relationships out of its. The restrictions have
disappeared one by one, and now the captivity of my past relations
are encredibly small and getting closer by the day to non existent.
What a paradox, huh? The people I set out and claimed to love the
most, turned out to be the people I had most trouble helping� Ha ha
ha� The irony!!!
Truth in heart � truth in love
The lesson my heart
learned does not exist from head knowledge, but from knowledge from
within. My heart now beats like a drum directly into other bodies.
Healing now is an invitation to other hearts to dance a lively and
love-celebrating beat. It has been quite a while since I had a
healing where I have not observed the heart of the other human being
reacting heavily to mine. I feel all of our bodies are closely
connected through hearts.
The feeling and experience of healing other people has done nothing
but change, from each and every time to the next.
I now feel the closest connection possible with the people I spend
time with. My body is healing everybody I am with (hence all the
trances that by the way becomes more the more people I am with), and
healing has very little to do with a specific situation with a body
placed just so, and me standing doing just so. Healing now is done
by my talking to other people as well as touching them as my body
wish to. By being present and aware.
As every school of healing will hate me for saying this, there is
and can be no technique possible to learn or teach any body else of
healing others. The only technique available to learn the lessons of
love, is to follow the body�s desire and be
aware how your own body reacts to
the people you heal. Awareness is what moves your body
closer and closer to learn the lessons in love. My experience is
this, and that my body has learned through me getting aware of its
behaviour. First comes awareness, then comes bodily knowledge.
I am very aware, that
with the growth of my heart as it has happened, I found respect,
accept, compassion and love for other humans. No matter shape or
size, and more importantly no matter belief or knowledge. I know my
life is not about convincing any other human, that what I see and
say is true, but about sharing through un-personal relationships with
people, what move them in their lives.
No action is right or wrong. The only thing that makes anything
right from wrong is whether the human being does this action from
desire or force. From love or fear.
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SMS
from Dahlia:
۞
I look him straight in the eyes
... every chance I get... and this will probably be my
downfall.. .for all I experience is Him striking again and
again, killing me not quite so softly..
I surrender to God... with every bit of my conscience... and I
stand tall through it.. .partly because I accept I have no will
and all of this is his territory..
and not mine.. and partly because
I have
the balls of a bull ha ha ha
۞
I
am nothing
and he is everything
۞
Ha ha ha ...
is it not perfect!
I
laugh at my own previous
effort in reaching nothing...
I now achieve nothing
being nothing.
۞
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23th of February 06 |
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Dear�
Each and every time I sit alone, I cannot help
but exploring the space inside my body. And really, I can sit
there wondering how on earth this body can be breathing. With
closed eyes I feel the outer form moving in breathing in and out,
but inside is just space� So big, so massive, bottomless
nothingness�
Only had 2 trances today� Have been alone
today. There is nothing dramatic about the trances anymore, no
pain, only joyous ease and peace. Love.
When I am alone my body has not the same need
to let go. I feel the healing of every person I am with, no matter
if I put my hands on them or not, and I see clearly, it is my
being with other people, that makes the trances come more often.
But it is all good, I don�t mind having these trances, they help
me help others, nothing could be more perfect� As I carry this
wish as a part of my body.
The trances is no more moving into a hole. It is pure nothingness
and a body releasing all into the space of nothing.
Every body reading this is more than welcome to contact me� my
number is 0045 2627 8076.
I wish to help every body, that wishes to receive my help�
Love from Heart of Himalaya�
Dahlia
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15th of February 06 |
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A peaceful conversation with God�
Wauw� total loss for words. Was sitting here writing about the
former 6-7 days of battling with the beast. When suddenly my head
dropped. Had been 24 hours since the last time. Now once again.
Moved to my bed. My experience of what was happening no longer
involved any misplaced thoughts of what was happening with these
trances�.
And therefore no more battling with the beast� Only dancing.
I
accepted and greeted God with a smile and passed out through the
nothingness-door. It all went very quickly. 3 minutes from warning
to turn off. Was gone for 30 minutes and returned safely to a body I
could activate almost immediately. Such a safe journey. And nothing
but a feeling of bliss � total peace and joy in letting go.
All very peaceful and lovely. Big wauw. Feel so lifted and blessed. |
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